Here is your life, Brian

When I was a young kid, I loved watching the Guy Smiley segment on Sesame Street.

Guy Smiley, a Muppet dubbed “America’s Favorite Game Show Host,” would occasionally present a tv show parody called “Here is Your Life.” It was a reunion show, in which an everyday household object is reunited with people or items from their past. For example, a sneaker in a thrift store would get reunited with the designer who created him, the shoemaker who made him, the pair of feet who wore him and his matching shoe, and finally his missing partner shoe which was made into a piece of art and was on display at a museum.

It's easy to look at a person and think of them as how they relate to you in your life today. But really, we’re all so much more complex than that, and there were many days before that laid the foundation for this moment in time.

Likewise, over the past five months, I’ve found myself at times thinking of Brian only in terms of the day he died. While it was unarguably the worst day of my life, Brian was so much more than that day. There were so many happy times and funny moments that we shared over the more than decade and a half that we knew each other, and they deserve prime time in my memory bank.

Since Brian died, I’ve been to three events where participants were gifted journals. I took it as a sign that maybe I should start journaling.

Since Guy Smiley isn’t going to burst into my living room with objects from my past and the memories they conjure up, I’ve decided to start writing down all the happy memories Brian and I shared.

I started writing New Year’s Eve, and intend to continue throughout the next few months. There is no timeline to this project, and there is no order. I sit down, start writing about a memory of me and Brian. Another recollection pops into my head, and I write that down. Some stories are a couple of paragraphs, other just a few sentences.

What will I do with this journal when it’s full? I don’t know. What I do know is that while there is one day that will be etched in my mind forever, I want to remember all the wonderful days that came before it.

Liz Gotthelf is the publisher of Saco Bay News. She is stumbling through life after the recent and unexpected loss of her husband, and will periodically write columns about it as she processes everything. She can be reached at newsdesk@sacobaynews.com.