I was surveying the new release shelves at Libby Library in Old Orchard Beach this past weekend in the hopes of discovering a new author.

I soon became mystified when I realized it was STEAM Saturday and our esteemed mascot, Libby Lobster, was nowhere to be found. Libby dearly loved the sciences. Unfortunately, it was a love not always reciprocated.

I eventually found a book that piqued my interest, checked it out, and went home. I continued to ponder the mystery of our missing mascot on my return. I dreaded the thought that the electricity theme of this week’s STEAM Saturday may have inspired Libby to make another attempt at repeating Benjamin Franklin’s kite experiment. The electric shock from his last attempt left him and his downed kite glowing so brightly that city workers mistook him for a Christmas decoration, and he spent the entire holiday season atop the municipal tree.

Later that evening, I stumbled across a possible clue in the form of a UPI story:

Massive inflatable Santa Claus’ presence in Texas neighborhood a mystery By Ben Hooper

Dec. 6 (UPI) -- A gigantic inflatable Santa Claus is drawing visitors to a Texas neighborhood, but its origins are a mystery…

Only one person, er crustacean, could possibly be behind it. I immediately logged onto Libby’s new social media site, Das Bloviate Blovato-matic 3000, and IM’ed the Head Bloviator himself. It was several minutes before Libby responded. I asked why he missed STEAM Saturday. He informed me that he fell asleep painting Easter eggs a few days ago.

“Libby, isn’t it a bit early to be painting Easter eggs?”

“Not if you have to paint 967,000 of them.”

“OK, but what was in the paint that put you to sleep for three days?”

“I wasn’t sleeping the whole time. I’ll tell you what really happened. I built a set up that allowed me to slowly fill my new inflatable Santa with helium while I attended to other things. Unfortunately, while I was asleep, the Santa became so full of helium that it caused my shed to become airborne. I ended up flying half-way across the country spawning UFO reports and conflicting Internet conspiracy theories along the way.

“Then,” Libby continued. “The inflatable Santa ran out of helium and came to a landing in the meeting of an Oklahoma chapter of Qargyle, an Internet spawned cult that believed that dryers across the country are rapturing their socks and other laundry items in preparation for the End Times. They took my appearance among them as a sign that they were soon to be reunited with their socks, doilies and Dr. Dentons in the great beyond.

“Wow, Libby! It sounds like you were in a situation that could have gone bad very quickly,” I said.

“I realized that at the time and asked the cultists ‘Would you like to see a miracle?’ I reached for a bottle of Ludicrous Libby’s Lava Lunacy hot sauce and used the fumes to rapidly re-inflate the Santa. Too rapidly as it turns out. I soon achieved suborbital altitude and began a slow re-entry. When I regained consciousness, I found myself in a small Texas town with a still inflated Santa as company. Seeing that I was still glowing from re-entry, a group of local thespians hired me as one of the ghosts in their production of A Christmas Carol.”

“How did you eventually get home, Libby?’

“I guess you could say it was by jet propulsion. During that evening’s performance, one of the audience members recognized me as the crustacean who bamboozled her in a game of mahjong. She grabbed a prop knitting needle from one of the extras, and punctured the inflatable Santa. The resulting rush of air sent me soaring homeward bound.”

“You’ve really had an eventful season so far, Libby. How do you plan to spend the rest of the holidays?”

“I still have 865,394 eggs to paint for Easter.”

“While Libby’s doing that, you can spend your holidays cozied up with one of the many books and DVDs we have available here at Libby Memorial Library. Not only that, but Libby will be back with more adventures in the coming year! “