“It always seems impossible until it’s done” - Nelson Mandela.

I knew I was in trouble as soon as I hung up the phone with Liz Gotthelf (the publisher of this news site and my boss) on Monday. We were talking about plans for coverage of Tuesday night’s Biddeford City Council meeting.

There were all kinds of juicy stuff on the agenda. Well, juicy if you’re a public policy geek like me (and Liz).

There would be a presentation about aquaculture farming, the adoption of a long overdue update to the city’s comprehensive plan, and of course, the juiciest issue of them all, rigorous debate about whether to fly the Pride Flag for the entire month of June.

Liz and I agreed that the aquaculture issue could be interesting and worth a deeper look. Besides, I really wanted to comment on the flag issue as a resident, not as a journalist; thus, journalism ethics would prohibit me from writing a news story about any subject that I publicly commented upon.

But there was one more item that really got me fired up, which really isn’t hard to do. Just ask my wife or my grown kids.

Despite my heartfelt, impassioned and somewhat rambling personal testimony, the council voted 7-1 to go ahead and spend $20,000 to hire an outside consultant who will tell us what to do about the homeless problem in our city. Councilor Bobby Mills was absent and Councilor Scott Whiting voted in opposition. (Hey, at least I got one vote, right?) Thanks, Mr. Whiting, I owe you a beer.

I’m not a very good public speaker. Truth be known, I’m also not really very good at writing, lawn care or dog training. But I stood there at the podium, my pulse racing, tripping over my words. As Shakespeare would say, I was an idiot full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

I was bent out of shape and had my proverbial panties in a knot. Why? Why should I care about a measly $20,000 and hiring a consultant for a good cause? I have plenty of other things to worry about.

It’s because I was on familiar ground. I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I know a thing or two about local politics, how government operates, about private consulting firms and about being homeless.

I have first-hand experience being homeless. Not once, not twice but three times in the past 40 years, the last time being after I was divorced from my first wife in 1989 and we lost the house (mostly my fault). Basically, there are three factors that can render you homeless. 1.) You cannot afford area rental rates or housing costs; 2.) You may have significant mental health issues; and/or 3.) You have a substance abuse problem. I was batting two out of three before I started putting my life back on track in the early ‘90s.

For many years, I supported myself and my family as a newspaper reporter, then as an editor and now as a freelancer. I also have more than 16 years of experience as a professional consultant. We had an inside joke about consulting: “If you’re not part of the solution, there’s good money to be had at prolonging the problem.” This mantra also works well for lawyers and politicians.

Over the past few months, I have produced an exhaustive, three-part series regarding homelessness here in northern York County.

I have talked to a multitude of experts: state officials, quasi-government officials, health providers, law enforcement, mental health providers, other service providers, city leaders and most importantly, unhoused people and those who are about to become homeless.

I put my heart and soul into that series. I didn’t get any extra money. I wasn’t asked to do it by my publisher. There was nothing in it for me. I did it because I thought it was important. I still do.

But God bless the City of Biddeford. If you see an unhoused person on the streets or sleeping at a bus stop, or in their car, tell them: Take heart! Good things are coming! The city just spent $20,000 to hire a consultant to help us solve this problem. Yippee!

Meanwhile, the city can keep patting itself on the back for another four months. We’re doing something! We’re making progress! Except, we’re not. Not really.

If you think $20,000 is a small price to pay on a multi-million-dollar budget, fine. Go ahead and write me a check for $20k. Hey, it’s not that much money. I’ll pay you back when I can. But I digress.

Look, the consulting firm we hired seems well-qualified. I’m sure they are all super nice, smart people, but why is the city so willing to spend money for more “white-papers,” reports and professional recommendations? Don’t we have a highly competent staff that is paid very well and seems to grow with each passing day?

On an unrelated note, this same city council voted to spend thousands of dollars to conduct a “professional, nationwide” search for a new police chief. Former Chief Roger Beaupre announced last September that he was retiring after 50 years of service. Deputy Chief JoAnne Fisk (with 30 years of experience in Biddeford) stepped up and took over day-to-day operations after Beaupre departed in January.

City Manager James Bennett says Interim Chief Fisk is doing “an outstanding job” as interim chief. She is well-liked and admired by a majority of police department employees. So, can someone please explain to me (with a straight face) why we didn’t just make Interim Chief Fisk the new chief, save ourselves a few thousand dollars and cross off one more item on the to-do list of our poor, over-worked, stressed-out city manager?

For the record, we still don’t have a permanent replacement for a guy who announced in September that he was retiring. The excuse issued for that is, basically: city staff is too busy.

We spend weeks bickering about whether to hoist a flag, can’t seem to retain a new city clerk or hire a police chief . . . no wonder they need a “professional” consultant.

Jesus, writing opinion columns is so much more fun than writing boring news stories about zoning, parking garages and tax districts.

So back to our consultant to help us come up with a plan for action on homelessness. The consultant will have a four-month window to develop a “strategic” analysis and recommendations for how to best proceed on the issue of homelessness in the city.

Four months. Geez. What a coincidence. We will be getting those recommendations just about 45 days before voters elect new city councilors and a new mayor in early November. So, you can bet your bottom dollar that nothing will happen before the election or the subsequent swearing-in ceremony in December.

So, bottom line: If you’re currently unhoused or about to become homeless, don’t hold your breath or expect any real progress until sometime after Christmas, and even then, the odds are thin that the City of Biddeford will be willing to stop kicking the can down the road.

P.S. I could have saved the city at least $10,000. They could have hired me as a professional consultant for half the cost. I would donate $9,989.87 to the Seeds of Hope Neighborhood Resource Center, buy myself a scrumptious lunch at Taco-Bell and bang out a 50-page white-paper on homelessness and recommendations with a guarantee to use the words “sustainable” “inclusive” and “diverse” no fewer than 50 times each.

For that, you get the head, the tail . . . the whole damn thing.

Trust me. That’s a bargain.

Randy Seaver can be contacted at randy@randyseaver.com.